To be where I am standing today from where I was before, it sure is something to me.
Long gone the days where that face was as round as chipmunk stuffing walnuts in it's mouth plus the nerdy round glasses. Belly the size of a spare tyre, pair of legs that looked like logs. Unable to even walk straight. They said it was the overweight school bags that primary kids have been carrying on their backs that made kids hunch.
Signed up for swimming class, they see baby whale swimming in the pool.
They said I was hopeless.
They called me fatty bum.
They started giving up.
And I struggled through it...
Come high school, where things slowly changed. Plus the crazy marching training under the sun for hours, every single day before school parade. Weights losing, becoming active in sports.
Classes in the morning, marching for at least 3 hours after school, for a period of 2 months. After school parade is over, one would stay back at school for badminton, playing nonstop, again for about 2 hours or more. Every Wednesday and Friday. It used to be fun and game. Never thought about anything else. Until one day, relative came and told one, "you're losing weight. Stress in school?"
One after another said the same thing. And soon, I lost all fats, and became a walking skeleton without even realizing it.
You see, when you are so used to being "fat" and called one, you wouldn't even realize that you lost weight tremendously, because it doesn't happen overnight. It happens, slowly...
And you see not a skinny you, you feel not a skinny you, but still that "old" you.
Gastric was a major problem that one has to go through. Thought it was just a childhood sickness coming back, but the fact is that, it wasn't.
When you are so engrossed in other things, like homeworks, co-curriculum, plus when you are in charge of something else in school, and you can't balance it all, and all you have in mind is to be the best and show how much you can do, you tend to neglect one of the most important thing. Your meal.
The crazy days one had to go through to prove them wrong, one had to fight through that battle alone, one had to weep to sleep, wake up the next morning and go through the same cycle again, and finally gave up.
What is there to prove when the closest to you doesn't even bother to give you that support you needed. What is there to prove when you can never be perfect in their eyes. What is there to prove when nothing you do is right. What is there to do when they will never feel proud enough. What is there to do when they put pressure and expects the best every single time from you.
You can only push one to its limits. And when you hit it, they'll blow.
And, I blew.
But all that pain I've been through, all the thorns I've felt. Made me realize one thing, what is there to prove, when all you need is to prove yourself right, to nobody, but yourself? You don't live to please others. You have weaknesses, but they were not the only thing you have.
You are gifted.
Every one of us are unique in our own way. And if they don't appreciate it, others will. And before others start appreciating you, you have to start from yourself. Search that faith within you and live with it. Start your morning with a smile. It is only an optimistic person that never gives up, succeeds.
The past is where you take your lessons from. It is your source of motivation.
Do the opposites, make it right once more. Do what is best for yourself, and be happy. Stay that way.
And when you think back, you would certainly wow yourself.
I used to think that I won't have any admirer, or I would stay fat and ugly, forever. But I prayed hard. Real hard. My prayer was answered, but I know I couldn't count on prayer itself. Nothing in life comes for free. You gotta earn it. When you are desperate enough for something and act as if you couldn't live without it, you sure as heck will succeed.
I'm glad I made the move.
There are days I would slack, but I never fail to remind myself over and over again that I will not go through the same dark path once more. Not ever.
We tend to take life for granted sometimes, so my source of motivation, will start from the people around me, and of course, reading motivating quotes every single time.
Experiences I've gained so far, really made me stronger than I used to be.
And yea, don't just talk the talk, you gotta walk the talk.
Close enough to feel that body, but there's no reason to stop now. Even the best car needs maintenance, what more when it comes to your bod.
You don't lose anything, instead you gain yourself good health.
Hopeless they say?
From where I am standing today, I doubt so :]
