Standby period :]

Well, am currently on standby for 24hours, I have half a day to go til this torture ends.
Have been emotional lately due to mental and physical fatigue. So many things are running through my mind and they never stop. 

Let's talk about the happy memories I have in this flying life today eh? 
Where shall I start...

Ah.. This happened some time ago end of last year. It was a flight bound for Koh Samui, Thailand. It was a pretty normal flight, with the profile of mostly caucasian and asian holiday makers.  Happy people on board :)
During disembarkation, as I was walking behind a caucasian family with a little girl around 5-6 years old and baby, this little girl holding her stuffed toy, stopped and turned around to face me, telling me "Hugsss" and gave me a tight hug as I bend down to her, and she walked away after. That little hug there made my day. It made me go "awwwww" the whole day. With her blonde curly shoulder length hair, and fair skin with freckles, blue eyes, I can never forget that hugging moment.

 There was once, during meal service, 2 kids, boy and girl were sitting by themselves at row 8D and 8E, economy class. Should be around 8 or 9 years old. Caucasian kids. I've served them their meals first because they had childmeal requested for them. Apparently the father was sitting in Business class which I found out later. So as I was at the mid cabin waiting for my colleague to finish serving the other passengers, they pressed the call bell. And little bro here asked for my help to cut the chicken thigh into cutlets for his sister. *This somehow reminded me of Abigael, my aunt's daughter when I helped her to cut her slice of pizza into smaller portions.*
Without hesitation, I did my part as their big sister and cut the chicken not only for the sister, but also for the brother himself. They were so well behaved and well mannered. Such lovable kids! That little act of mine somehow made one of my colleague who happened to walk past me when I was doing it go "seriously you cut the chicken for them?" Well, babysitting is part of my job, is it not? :)

The best moment I had was when I was given a mentee to take care of for a month. I was utterly shocked when I was given one, but I guess there's a reason why they pushed her to me. She slowly became my closefriend or rather little sister, a year younger than I am :)
Our journey together throughout that one whole month was awesome, she's stressed out with me being too strict, but with all that, she became stronger and turned out to be one of the best.
That, was one of my achievement. And I am proud of her :)

There are so much more nice nice memories, but my mind is blocked for now. Behind all the smile I had to give in the cabin, behind the curtain is when I go crazy. You see, not every new girls and everybody has the same positive attitude. Some of them can be rather, bitchy defensive. You don't see these kind of juniors during my time. It was all "sorry's" even when it's not your fault. Now, they can be such pain in the arse. Generation Y they call it. 
I better stop typing of thinking about them or I'll go crazy now.


"Happy thoughts Lucky. Happy thoughts~" :]








"Have you ever tried so hard to forget about something, and when you're about to enter the last stage of not even remembering a single detail, it came back to haunt you?"

April :]

 Well hellloowww April :]

Time flies and it's April already? Hehh~ What's new. It's been a while since I last updated this blog of mine with a new post. So here I am tonight. 

Things were pretty much the same til today. Work has always been taking it's toll on me. Been sick on and off thanks to my sensitive stomach. So yea...


This 2013 would be my coming 3rd year residing in this island I once called hell, and it's already 3 years I'm away from home. Well don't get me wrong, this still is not paradise to me, that's for sure.

The life I'm living today/now, is just so unpredictable but predictable at the same time. Still can't believe the decision I made the day I decided to leave. Big guts indeed. Obviously, I have no idea what's coming towards me, but at least, I made a choice that I believe will change my life entirely.
AND it did.

Experiences gained along the way made me grew stronger and stronger everyday. Friendships, hardships, lonesome moments every now and then, it was an incredible journey for a 17 year old girl on stranger's land. There are days that I doubt my ability, which I know is wrong, because you can never count on anybody but yourself. You are in control of your emotions, ain't nobody gonna step on that ladder but yourself. Slowly, that reserved me opened herself up, and here I am today, looking back at that old me.

Back at home, it was really great to know almost everybody and never fail to bump into your friends on the street. But to stay stagnant, is not what I long for. There is just something that's missing, and I guess, I'm just craving for an adventure, or maybe, adventures. Yes friends do play a big part in your life, but I guess I gotta accept the fact that people will move on, and they do. You're still friends, yes, but you will start to have your own career, your own family, your own life. Catching up will still be done, but now that new life, is your priority.

Growing up is never easy, and I wish I could just stop at certain age and stay that way forever. But eh, that is not possible and we gotta catch up with life, make it interesting because we only live once. If you do it right, once is more than enough.

If you ever think that life is boring, think again. There are people out there who are less fortunate and wish they can be in your shoes. If you think the world is against you, think again. Stop being a pessimist and start looking at the bright side. Do something to change your life, lighten it up and bring colours to that dull life of yours.

Always remember that you live not to please others, no matter what you do, people will judge. Let them be, for they are lifeless. Take those negative comments in quietly and use it as your source of motivation. Don't let it bring you down, let it be something that you wanna change to positive remarks instead. If they say you can't do it, well prove them wrong.

Nothing is impossible, even the word itself says "I'm possible". So what's stopping you now?

Build that courage in you and strive. I'm thankful that I took the first step. One after another, and here I am now, reaching the age of 21 and flying high. There are more to life that I will experience, and I can't wait.
Life, bring it on! :)

I can't deny the fact that there are days where I feel like I'm just a lost soul floating around, with no particular goal, feel lazy and down and just wanna shut myself up from the world. But those were just the days. Part and parcel of life.

And my way to release em stress? By writing and sketching :) 
A friend of mine once told me to post it on my blog, and who knows, I'll get noticed?
Gahh~ when that day comes or when it happens, I must be one of the luckiest girl on earth. Which I doubt so~ Anyways, these are the few sketches below~ 

 Left: mine, right: original. Saw that sketch on the web and find it interesting. So yea.

                           King Julien and Mort. Got hooked with the episodic cartoon for a bit~ 
                                                          thus explains the reason behind the sketch.

 

A random sketch for a friend of mine who needed a phoenix for logo or something. Tried my best in this?

I just envy this beautiful creature in real life :]

Life in this island wasn't easy at a certain point of time.

Ehh that's all for tonight~ Signing off to lala land now~ :)

Scar :]

To be where I am standing today from where I was before, it sure is something to me.

Long gone the days where that face was as round as chipmunk stuffing walnuts in it's mouth plus the nerdy round glasses. Belly the size of a spare tyre, pair of legs that looked like logs. Unable to even walk straight. They said it was the overweight school bags that primary kids have been carrying on their backs that made kids hunch.
Signed up for swimming class, they see baby whale swimming in the pool.

They said I was hopeless.
They called me fatty bum.
They started giving up.
And I struggled through it...

Come high school, where things slowly changed. Plus the crazy marching training under the sun for hours, every single day before school parade. Weights losing, becoming active in sports.
Classes in the morning, marching for at least 3 hours after school, for a period of 2 months. After school parade is over, one would stay back at school for badminton, playing nonstop, again for about 2 hours or more. Every Wednesday and Friday. It used to be fun and game. Never thought about anything else. Until one day, relative came and told one, "you're losing weight. Stress in school?"

One after another said the same thing. And soon, I lost all fats, and became a walking skeleton without even realizing it.

You see, when you are so used to being "fat" and called one, you wouldn't even realize that you lost weight tremendously, because it doesn't happen overnight. It happens, slowly...
And you see not a skinny you, you feel not a skinny you, but still that "old" you.

Gastric was a major problem that one has to go through. Thought it was just a childhood sickness coming back, but the fact is that, it wasn't.

When you are so engrossed in other things, like homeworks, co-curriculum, plus when you are in charge of something else in school, and you can't balance it all, and all you have in mind is to be the best and show how much you can do, you tend to neglect one of the most important thing. Your meal.

The crazy days one had to go through to prove them wrong, one had to fight through that battle alone, one had to weep to sleep, wake up the next morning and go through the same cycle again, and finally gave up.
What is there to prove when the closest to you doesn't even bother to give you that support you needed. What is there to prove when you can never be perfect in their eyes. What is there to prove when nothing you do is right. What is there to do when they will never feel proud enough. What is there to do when they put pressure and expects the best every single time from you.

You can only push one to its limits. And when you hit it, they'll blow.

And, I blew.





But all that pain I've been through, all the thorns I've felt. Made me realize one thing, what is there to prove, when all you need is to prove yourself right, to nobody, but yourself? You don't live to please others. You have weaknesses, but they were not the only thing you have.
You are gifted.

Every one of us are unique in our own way. And if they don't appreciate it, others will. And before others start appreciating you, you have to start from yourself. Search that faith within you and live with it. Start your morning with a smile. It is only an optimistic person that never gives up, succeeds.

The past is where you take your lessons from. It is your source of motivation.
Do the opposites, make it right once more. Do what is best for yourself, and be happy. Stay that way.
And when you think back, you would certainly wow yourself.

I used to think that I won't have any admirer, or I would stay fat and ugly, forever. But I prayed hard. Real hard. My prayer was answered, but I know I couldn't count on prayer itself. Nothing in life comes for free. You gotta earn it. When you are desperate enough for something and act as if you couldn't live without it, you sure as heck will succeed.
I'm glad I made the move.


There are days I would slack, but I never fail to remind myself over and over again that I will not go through the same dark path once more. Not ever.
We tend to take life for granted sometimes, so my source of motivation, will start from the people around me, and of course, reading motivating quotes every single time.

Experiences I've gained so far, really made me stronger than I used to be.
And yea, don't just talk the talk, you gotta walk the talk.
Close enough to feel that body, but there's no reason to stop now. Even the best car needs maintenance, what more when it comes to your bod.
You don't lose anything, instead you gain yourself good health.









Hopeless they say?
From where I am standing today, I doubt so :]